Something got me thinking tonight, not really BDSM related but relationship related, as I have kink relationships, you lovely lot can have my musings.
The end of a relationship can hurt, sometimes it tears you apart, others it just stings. The thing I’ve been soul-searching for recently is why it hurts. That I would guess varies by relationship and the nature of the break up. Here’s my theory though, when a relationship breaks down it does so for a reason. A party being unfaithful, whether physically, emotionally or just too reliant on the world of cyber sex, people grown apart, addictions or behaviour related disagreements.
All completely separate issues, but with one thing in common, when one of them destroys a relationship, was that relationship ever worth any fighting in the first place? Love, trust, mutual attraction build a relationship, be it one of lovers, kink or friendship, but when it breaks down everything is called into question. One party invariably ends up asking themselves “What was the point, wasn’t I worth it, was I ever loved”. A fact I’m just learning is, maybe there was no point, maybe to them you weren’t worth it, and maybe they didn’t love you, but somewhere someone will.
If someone leaves you feeling that way, you are worth better, because no one who loves you would ever make you doubt your own worth. Someone who makes you feel that way, will be full of excuses, it will never be their fault. They claim they can’t put their feelings into words, cant find a way to express themselves, in actual fact they just couldn’t be arsed.
This week after a shitty break up and shittier relationship, i dusted myself down, pulled up my big girl pants and said no way, you don’t treat me this way anymore. It’s amazing how a shopping spree, a new hair cut and a few compliments (okay I had a lot today my hair looks awesome it would seem lol) can put a spring back in your step.
I realised someone out there will love me, will show me that everyday, never make excuses and always make sure I know just how much I’m worth.Because that is what someone who cares about you does.
So next time you find yourself fighting and wondering what the hell for, remind yourself there is someone out there would fight for you, will show you what they and you are fighting for and make you happy every single day, even if not all day. Never settle for anything less, I sure wont be again.
Remember excuses are just that, meaningless words to try and convince you its your fault not theirs, its not your fault, it never was.